Living in the Dark in Ireland's Sunny South East.

 Exploring mental health, suffering and spirituality

What's the Story in Waterford #6

The South East counties of Waterford and Wexford bask in more sunlight than anywhere else in Ireland.  This fact is well known and loved by residents who are proud of their home in ‘The Sunny South East’ or even, ‘The Irish Riviera’!  Compared to an average 5 to 6.5 hours in early summer in the rest of Ireland, the South East can boast of over 7 hours.  Waterford and Wexford top the charts of counties in Ireland with the most hours of annual sunlight. This sunlight, along with the beautiful beaches along the coastline, give the ready opportunity to remind friends and family living elsewhere just what they are missing out on.

It’s all relative though isn’t it?  Spain, we are not.  So, the sun’s appearance, even in summer, is greeted with an impetus to get out and get into it.  This is something that comedian Des Bishop has described as a source of great anxiety.  You really need to get out and make the most of the sun while it’s around.  Like much humour, there’s truth in what he says. Even though it's sunny outside, the winds of anxiety can be picking up inside.  

I can remember a day at a Waterford beach when I wasn’t feeling so sunny.  The beach was crowded, the sun was shining, the kids were happy.  On the outside all was well, yet inside I was feeling heavy, slow in my thoughts and pretty gloomy.  This was on my day off and rather than enjoying this with those I love I was feeling distant and detached, lost in my thoughts.  I am prone to feeling like this after an intense time of work.  When I’m physically exhausted I can feel emotionally down.  The sunshine didn’t help.  I felt out of sorts with the day that was in it.  It was sunny outside and gloomy inside. 

Even in Ireland’s Sunny South East there are many who are living under the cloud of mental health illness.  Research in 2016 has shown that Ireland has one of the highest rates (3/36 countries) of mental health illness in Europe. 18.5% of the Irish population recorded as having a mental health illness such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, or alcohol/drug use.  Even when the sun shines there are those who are living in the shadows. 

In recent years such mental health illness has been brought into the open.  A range of initiatives have sought to reduce the stigma around mental health.  The annual Darkness into Light walk seeks to raise money for Pieta House who support those dealing with suicide or self-harm.  In 2022 there were walks in Waterford City and Dungarvan, as well as Courtown, New Ross and Wexford town.  Such a walk is a powerful expression of solidarity, as well as a ready metaphor for the healing and hope that can dawn beyond days when we might feel dark.  It also encourages us to step into the light and be more open about our struggles and suffering.  We don’t need to go it alone.  

Putting words on our struggles and suffering can be challenging.  This is where poetry can be a real help in engaging with our feelings and offering us pictures or words to express how we’re doing.  In the Christian tradition the book of Psalms provides light for our dark days.  It is a varied book of poems, which have been used as prayers or songs across hundreds of years.  The most common type are laments, which allow us to voice our pain and suffering.  They help us to name our darkness and most of the time they move to a hopeful ending of light, even before there has been any real change in our circumstances.  Such words invite us to involve God in our suffering. 

Indeed the Christian message is that God has involved himself intimately in our suffering.  Jesus, who is God’s Son, knows what it is to suffer.  As he struggles with the anguish and abandonment of being crucified he calls out in lament, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”  These words are from Psalm 22, a Psalm of lament.  Even in feeling his distance from God he cries out to him.  The gospel writers tell us of the darkness in the middle of the day at Jesus’ crucifixion.  He endures such darkness on the cross, yet reaches for light.  So, when we suffer dark days we can know that God understands.  

When we suffer it often unleashes a torrent of questions.  Research by What’s the Story? of one thousand Irish people identified one of the key questions we have in life is, ‘Can we make sense of our suffering?’ There is something in us that finds hope and help in our darkest days if they have amounted to some purpose.  If light has dawned beyond.  

The central act in the Christian story is one of suffering that brings healing; of darkness that brings light.  What if on the cross Jesus does more than just share in our sorrows and suffering?  What if he bears the curse which lies beneath all suffering and sorrow in this fallen and fragile world?  Could this great undoing mean an end to every tear, to death, mourning, crying and pain?  Could there be a new order dawning from the darkness of the current weary world? These are the remarkable claims of the Christian gospel.  

If you’re someone who has struggled in the dark, such light might smart your eyes.  Yet such light doesn’t mean we need to be bright and breezy in suffering.  It isn’t concerned with the exhausting smile worn by the positivity movement.  Rather, such light means being honest with our suffering and sorrows.  

Such light does dispel the gloomy cynicism and disillusionment that despairs that there is no central purpose in life.  It is hopeful, meaning there is something beyond our suffering, or even more importantly someone.  

The flood of questions that meet us in the dark may ask, ‘Why am I suffering?’, ‘What is going on here?’, but perhaps one of the most pressing is, ‘Who is with me in suffering?’ 

The Christian gospel is good news in our suffering, as it insists God is with us in suffering.  Jesus knows how we feel.  His hope and help are extended today through churches who can provide safe spaces in suffering.  Those who extend the assurance that there is light beyond the dark, and who offer the permission to be honest where the darkness still lingers.  We don’t have to go it alone.  

If you are interested in exploring these questions more, in the company of Christian community, check out What’s The Story in Autumn 2022.  

This blog is written by Colin Holmes, pastor of Ferrybank Christian Community Church.  He previously worked as a community pharmacist with Mulligans Pharmacy in Tramore and Ferrybank.  He counts it a privilege to come alongside those who might be suffering and bring some comfort and hope.  He is no stranger to shadows and the soreness of suffering and has written previously on this in the Recovering Life series on this blog.