Christmas on the Backfoot

On the backfoot I begin 
Denying self and carrying cross 
I find my feet upon the path again 
Following 
Lord lead on 

. . .

I have never been so unready for Christmas.  
I have never been so calm about being on the backfoot. 

Finding a different way 

to work and different work at hand 

due to sicknesses at home and the season's different opportunities. 

Could it be that I might be able to lay down my favoured work 

and find my Lord in the task at hand? 

I’m just following 
Lord lead on.